tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15440131819083960962024-02-19T10:42:22.225-06:00Us and EamonHeatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04973620178769127201noreply@blogger.comBlogger321125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1544013181908396096.post-80228044939993608542009-05-21T14:47:00.003-05:002009-05-21T14:54:54.950-05:00Blog Relocation!I'm so excited to finally be up and running on Wordpress. <br /><br />Please come visit me there from now on: http://weofme.wordpress.com/. <br /><br />It's the same exact blog, but with a much-needed facelift and name change. I'll still probably play with the design. Down the road.<br /><br />I know at one point I'd talked about retiring this blog and starting a super impersonal one, but I decided not to go that route. Blogging is too much of an outlet for me, and I would be so, so limited in what I could say if our families knew about the blog. I might start one for them that's just pictures and quick baby updates. <br /><br />See you on Wordpress!Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04973620178769127201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1544013181908396096.post-41148599777458875622009-05-19T20:21:00.004-05:002009-05-19T20:59:30.335-05:00YesterdayIt started at 4:40, when E woke up and refused to let us put him back down. He was hurting. His canines. Getting him to bed the last several nights has been difficult (multiple bouts of rocking and crying), which is unusual for him. He's also woken up mid-nap a few times and needed Tylenol. <br /><br />Later yesterday morning (it was a long morning) I scared myself by falling on the stairs. I was carrying a huge basket of laundry, and E was downstairs on the other side of the gate, waiting for me. I fell down a couple of stairs and landed on the landing on my knees and one of my feet jammed into the baseboard. I started sobbing immediately for some reason even though I wasn't seriously hurt. E thought I was laughing, so he started laughing the laugh he does when he wants to be in on the joke but doesn't know what's funny, until I came down the stairs. He stopped laughing as soon as he saw me, and a look of grave concern came over his face. He watched me closely and hugged me. He is so sweet, that one.<br /><br />After nap we were playing outside when I realized he was poopy, so I changed him on our new changing table downstairs, but then realized the diaper cream was upstairs. He's had a terrible diaper rash that was even bleeding yesterday morning, so I wanted to be sure and put cream on his bum. I put him down to run around naked while I ran upstairs to get the cream. You can probably guess what happened: Came back down the stairs and found him frozen in the kitchen with a huge pile of soft poo on the floor behind him and a puddle of pee on the floor in front of him. He didn't know what was going on or what to do. Up until now he's been completely oblivious to all things potty related, although he did ask me two days ago to take his diaper off so he could sit on his potty. I think he'd seen one of the co-op girls doing this; I don't think he's realized the purpose of it yet. Anyway, yeah, cleaning up a steaming pile of shit from the kitchen floor was a first for me. I'm just glad I succeeded in keeping him from running his vacuum through it. It was a close call, as we both apparently had a lot of cleaning to do.<br /><br />A bit later, before bedtime, I was checking email before reading to him and he was behind me with an empty bottle of Motrin (which he loves to play with), a half-full bottle (which had the childproof cap on), and his little medicine cup. I swear I don't usually let him have an un-empty bottle, but he was going to bed in a few minutes, and it wasn't worth the battle to keep it from him (I thought). I just didn't think there was any way he could get the cap off. We both pretended to pour and sip the medicine and smack our lips, and then I turned back to my computer. Soon thereafter it dawned on me that he'd gotten very quiet, and then I realized that he'd uttered a gleeful, triumphant sound a few seconds before. I turned around and he was standing there with a giant grin on his face and two empty bottles of Motrin. I looked down and the carpet was covered in purple goo, as was the front of his shirt. It took me a minute to realize that he'd probably swallowed some himself before dumping it. And I'd already given him a teaspoon. I wasn't too worried, to be honest, but I wanted to call Poison Control anyway. They were super nice (and even called back this morning to check in). Turns out he could've swallowed an entire bottle and been fine. Good to know. Needless to say, he slept like a rock last night. <br /><br />So, those were the day's highlights. Which I really didn't have time to just write out. But oh well. <br />It wasn't a bad day at all (and we had a great time at the park in the morning), it was just long and . . . eventful.Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04973620178769127201noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1544013181908396096.post-16137481920660455812009-05-17T20:48:00.003-05:002009-05-17T21:23:12.002-05:00Letting go of insecuritiesOn Friday morning we had some new friends over, and E and I had a great time. It was actually our first time ever having a one-on-one playdate here at our house with someone we met through the Austin Mamas. It was so nice talking to this mama and being around her sweet little girl, and I'm glad we got together. I've been a bit insecure about having people over, partly because we live kinda far out (for some people), and partly because I've been to several of the mamas' houses, and they're really nice. But you know what I realized? My house is nice too. Nice enough, anyway. It's nothing to be embarrassed about. So we don't live in a hip neighborhood--who gives a shit. And who cares if other people have nicer houses. This is ours, and I'm thankful for it, and it's fun having people over. I've decided to apply this philosophy to other areas of life as well--it's liberating.Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04973620178769127201noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1544013181908396096.post-63528322870886375512009-05-17T20:27:00.004-05:002009-05-17T20:36:11.604-05:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqPlY2xScIWo-0fa_kGM3fPS71Vd8CagBaB3Fvn6ajsUZiQU2ILcSjJ1nZGTli-5scI-ZYxkD6WWXDvh3ileFBa4UzxCiLPL1wMUTV59Xio2hi-C5PnPCkTFHbhajSR76l8g3VLwlmRqo/s1600-h/DSC04274.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqPlY2xScIWo-0fa_kGM3fPS71Vd8CagBaB3Fvn6ajsUZiQU2ILcSjJ1nZGTli-5scI-ZYxkD6WWXDvh3ileFBa4UzxCiLPL1wMUTV59Xio2hi-C5PnPCkTFHbhajSR76l8g3VLwlmRqo/s400/DSC04274.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336971323204961762" /></a><br />E with his friend Clay and Clay's baby sister, Cebe, last week.Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04973620178769127201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1544013181908396096.post-43794624652566604392009-05-14T20:12:00.004-05:002009-05-14T20:45:50.090-05:00This Morning with EE had I had such a nice moment this morning. We don't usually go outside before we head out for the morning, but it was lovely out (not oppressively hot yet the way it's been in the afternoons lately), and we had time to kill, so I opened the sliding door. We sat side by side on the back steps for a long time, sharing a huge bunch of grapes, talking to Squeaky, and watching a cardinal dart from fence to tree and back again, singing happily. The sun lit up patches of grass through the trees and the grapes broke sweetly between our teeth. It felt right and good to be together. My first baby, my love.Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04973620178769127201noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1544013181908396096.post-26399237155348627172009-05-10T14:05:00.002-05:002009-05-10T14:08:40.797-05:00Two (very different) poems on Mother's DayTO MY MOTHER<br />by Wendell Berry<br /><br />I was your rebellious son,<br />do you remember? Sometimes<br />I wonder if you do remember,<br />so complete has your forgiveness been.<br /><br />So complete has your forgiveness been<br />I wonder sometimes if it did not<br />precede my wrong, and I erred,<br />safe found, within your love,<br /><br />prepared ahead of me, the way home,<br />or my bed at night, so that almost<br />I should forgive you, who perhaps<br />foresaw the worst that I might do,<br /><br />and forgave before I could act,<br />causing me to smile now, looking back,<br />to see how paltry was my worst,<br />compared to your forgiveness of it<br /><br />already given. And this, then,<br />is the vision of that Heaven of which<br />we have heard, where those who love<br />each other have forgiven each other,<br /><br />where, for that, the leaves are green,<br />the light a music in the air,<br />and all is unentangled,<br />and all is undismayed. <br /><br />"To My Mother" by Wendell Berry, from Entries. © Pantheon Books, 1994.<br />_________________________<br /><br />DANGEROUS ASTRONOMY<br /> <br />by Sherman Alexie<br /><br />I wanted to walk outside and praise the stars,<br />But David, my baby son, coughed and coughed.<br />His comfort was more important than the stars<br /><br />So I comforted and kissed him in his dark<br />Bedroom, but my comfort was not enough.<br />His mother was more important than the stars<br /><br />So he cried for her breast and milk. It's hard<br />For fathers to compete with mothers' love.<br />In the dark, mothers illuminate like the stars!<br /><br />Dull and jealous, I was the smallest part<br />Of the whole. I know this is stupid stuff<br />But I felt less important than the farthest star<br /><br />As my wife fed my son in the hungry dark.<br />How can a father resent his son and his son's love?<br />Was my comfort more important than the stars?<br /><br />A selfish father, I wanted to pull apart<br />My comfortable wife and son. Forgive me, Rough<br />God, because I walked outside and praised the stars,<br />And thought I was more important than the stars.Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04973620178769127201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1544013181908396096.post-38044601063724966502009-05-07T22:00:00.002-05:002009-05-07T22:02:35.388-05:00So, the verdict is in . . .And it looks like we're having a GIRL!!!!!!!!!!<br /><br />Holy shit. Can you believe it? I can't believe it. More soon.Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04973620178769127201noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1544013181908396096.post-6024981152132401342009-05-06T14:54:00.003-05:002009-05-06T14:58:39.224-05:00Mama, Ma, Ma, MAMAFor the first time ever, E called me by name from his room this morning after he woke up and had played awhile. It was awesome. I've actually been looking forward to this for about a year for some reason. <br /><br />Cool.Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04973620178769127201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1544013181908396096.post-88837001372469910382009-05-05T20:09:00.005-05:002009-05-06T11:59:21.034-05:00Climbing and Hitting and Growing UpTJ's away again, this time in New York. But just for two days. E really misses his dad and asks about him all the time. "Dad-dy? Dad-dy? Dad-dy?" It's so, so sweet. He's really into Daddy these days. <br /><br />So, he climbed onto a kitchen chair (and then practically onto the table) tonight for the first time ever. There's no going back now, this much is clear.<br /><br />He's obsessed with playing in the sweltering parked car these days, and as a result we were both super hot and sweaty tonight, and I decided to just take a bath with him before having dinner. It was so refreshing to mix up the routine. I took a bath with him last week for the first time since he was a tiny baby and he was totally ambivalent about it (I was imagining him loving it for some reason), but this time he knew the drill and there was less of a feeling of "Dude, you're taking up my space to play," and more of a "You do your thing and I'll do mine." There was a little curiosity about my body, but almost not as much as when I'm just changing clothes or going to the bathroom with him near me. <br /><br />Speaking of curiosity, he's started hitting me sometimes when I'm holding him and he's annoyed/angry/frustrated. Yikes, major change. He's also less gentle with my breasts all of sudden. Ever since he was weaned he asks to see the boobies several times a day, and he touches them ever so gently and lays his head lovingly on my belly or chest. But in the past couple of days when he's asked to see boobies, he hasn't been gentle at all. Booby time may be drawing to a close. <br /><br />I was watching him building with some blocks earlier when he didn't know I was watching, and I was just so aware of the fact that he's not a baby anymore. He has his own opinions and desires, and they're separate and often in conflict with what I'm trying to direct him to do. It's such a difference from the baby who you kiss without being pushed away, and who's content to be toted along with you wherever you go. But there's also something beautiful about seeing this little independent person emerge out of the baby you cared for so completely (and still care for completely). It brings up this strange mixture of pride and wonder and sadness and excitement.Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04973620178769127201noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1544013181908396096.post-57534602049986826962009-05-04T15:21:00.004-05:002009-05-04T16:13:51.231-05:00Weekend RecapWe had such a good weekend. It was a nice balance of social activities and productivity, both of which can be a challenge for us sometimes. We actually could've used some more down time, but whatev. It's better than too much down time, which is usually what happens (and what I always think I want, but I'm realizing that's a mistake). <br /><br />Anyway, on Saturday we went to the Palmer Events Center for the annual Celebration of Families, sponsored by the fabulous F.amily Connections. It was so much fun. We ran into quite a few people we know, and we saw the Biscuit Brothers up close and personal (I couldn't believe it; yes, I was starstruck--ridiculous), and then later we caught some of their show before we had to leave. They were fantastic. E also had fun playing with a giant balloon, watching a clown and Clifford the Big Red Dog (he was terrified of Clifford, actually), and outside they had a petting zoo that blew his mind. He was walking around with ducks and sheep and rabbits--none of which he's ever seen in real life before. I couldn't STAND that I forgot the camera.<br /><br />Afterward we had lunch at Katz's Deli, complete with fried pickles. We were closing in on E's naptime, but for once we weren't slaves to our schedule. <br /><br />Saturday evening I worked at the auction for baby Ike down south at Ruta Maya (www.ikeasaurus.com). It was amazing, and it raised over $17,000 for the Roy family. I love the Austin Mamas.<br /><br />On Sunday after church we went over to our friends' house for brunch. We hadn't gotten together in a loooong time (like almost a year). Sadly, E was deathly afraid of their sweet puppy Lulu, and Lulu had to go in her crate. I don't know if I've ever seen E that afraid. He was making the sad face and everything. In the meantime, he was fine at the park this morning with a much bigger dog (but he sees this dog fairly often, and the dog is very calm . . . ?).Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04973620178769127201noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1544013181908396096.post-85236264268061709312009-05-03T15:07:00.005-05:002009-05-04T16:16:01.228-05:00Pregnancy Stuff, MostlyI am so behind on my emails. I just can't seem to find the time to write very lengthy replies, and I have several in my inbox right now that deserve more than a few quick sentences. In our spare time at home we've been working on cleaning out and organizing the garage (we're at least 80% there), and I've been going through closets and drawers and bookcases little by little, getting ready for the new baby and the rearranging we need to do (turning the guest room/my office into E's new room). I'm also in the midst of touring a couple of preschools (while E's at co-op) and trying to find a new OB. (I've decided to attempt a VBAC. I think.) E's recent developments have also necessitated some additional safety features around the house. Several have been installed, but we really need to secure some of our furniture to the walls. I was looking at the instructions today and it's going to be a bitch. Not sure how the bookshelves downstairs will work since they're Ikea and the backing is particle board. <br /><br />Pregnancy update: I have an appointment later this week (we start week 17 tomorrow), and the doc said they'll try to make a guess about the baby's gender. I can't wait. I feel absolutely certain it's a boy, and I'm dying to have that confirmed (or to be told I'm wrong--either way will be incredible). I started showing awhile back (feels like I'm pretty big already, for how far along I am), and I think(?) I'm feeling the baby move at times, but only faintly, and I'm still not totally sure. In general I have so, so much more energy than in the first trimester, but there are days I'm wiped out for no apparent reason. The food aversions remain, but the nausea has left completely, which is such a relief. The late night snacking has commenced, and I've started to need a substantial snack (like a pj&j and milk) most nights before bed in order to feel full. <br /><br />I've thought a lot about how different it is being pregnant this time as compared to last. It feels much easier this time. So far, at least (knock on wood). I've had none of the aches and pains I had last time, and some of them had started by this point. I guess the ligaments and skin and muscle were all broken in pretty well by E. I've had a fraction of the headaches I had before, and my face hasn't broken out (it was out of control with E). I'm also way more physically active this time (not that I exercise or anything. Please). It's easier psychologically as well. About this point last time, I was obsessed with where the top of my uterus was--I was sure it was too low. Now I know that I can't feel the top of my uterus yet. I still get plenty anxious about stuff, just not so much about pregnancy symptoms. And now that the first trimester is over, I'm in no hurry. Whereas it seemed to take forever for E to arrive, I feel like this baby will be here in the blink of an eye. Before, I put everything off until the last trimester, feeling like I shouldn't do things too early. I had no idea how exhausted and physically limited I would be by then. Now I know that I need to get things done in the next couple of months.<br /><br />Blahblahblah, this seems boring and self-involved (though isn't blogging exactly that). Maybe I should be putting it in the written journal I'm keeping about this pregnancy. But in any case, I'm out of time tonight. Guess I'll have to blog about our weekend later. E got to visit a petting zoo!Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04973620178769127201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1544013181908396096.post-30979640369572910742009-05-01T15:35:00.009-05:002009-05-01T16:14:43.859-05:00Friday at the tail end of a long naptimeWow, I'm having a hard time getting anything done. I mean, anything but menial chores. Part of it probably has to do with being pregnant, but mostly I think it has to do with having a very active toddler. When I'm not interacting with him or out with him somewhere, I spend most of my time cleaning and picking up the house, washing clothes and dishes. Order is important to me, and yet I often feel like I have nothing to show for my efforts. I get to enjoy a tidy room or a clean kitchen for a fraction of a second before it's all undone and the cycle starts again. Over and over. I feel like a hamster in a wheel, running and running but not getting anywhere. I'm sure this is the lament of many a mom. You'll have to cut me some slack, because TJ was out of town all week and I'm pretty burned out. <br /><br />I took E for his 18-month well check yesterday (a month late). He got the dreaded MMR shot, which I've been fearing and avoiding for a year. I would've waited until his two-year checkup, but that's right around when the baby is due, so I decided to go ahead and do it now. And you know what? It was no big deal. I mean, he cried (he got two shots), but he was fine shortly afterward, and he was his usual energetic, happy self the rest of the day. We went to play at the Central Market playscape afterward and he had a freaking blast. He has taken monster naps yesterday and today, and this morning he was <i>very</I> difficult to deal with, but that seems to be more from his bottom canines. So, whew, glad the MMR is over. <br /><br />By the way, he weighed in at 27 pounds, 11 ounces (75th percentile) and he's 32.5 inches tall (60th percentile). His head circumference is in the 90th percentile. <br /><br />One thing that jumped out at me from the info sheet they gave us about this age: Don't expect them to share yet. Case in point: E's friend Jonas came over yesterday afternoon and there were many tears shed over the miniature Dirt Devil vacuum cleaner we have. Learning to share is hard. <br /><br />Last Saturday I drove up to Ft. Worth to help throw a bachelorette party for a high school friend. Several of the girls were staying out all night with the bride, but I rode up and back with a friend of mine who's also pregnant (just two weeks apart!) and mama to a toddler. Partying all night and being away from our families the whole weekend wasn't something we felt comfortable with, so we drove up that morning and then back after a late dinner. I got home at 3 a.m. Groan. TJ left that day (though not until the afternoon). <br /><br />I have to say that the best part of the day on Saturday was talking to my friend in the car. We talked for a total of around seven hours at least. Non-stop. And I felt like we could've talked longer. It was such a treat. No interruptions, no one else to take care of, and endless subjects to talk about. I love this friend, and I wish we got to see each other more often.<br /><br />Well, E's up now. More soon, hopefully.Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04973620178769127201noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1544013181908396096.post-4617723292487372532009-04-20T15:33:00.005-05:002009-04-20T20:26:06.346-05:00Mary's Visit, Leaving EThere are all kinds of things I've been meaning to blog about, but I just don't have it in me at the moment. (Plus it's 3:30--E will surely be waking up soon. He's been napping for 2.5 hours!)<br /><br />We survived Mary's visit, though I did flee to the bathroom once to cry and freak out for a couple minutes. Mary sounds exactly like Mrs. Costanza on Seinfeld, and I've decided that something about the way her voice sounds makes it hard to get outright angry at her. She comes across as sweet and sincere even while being offensive and grating. I believe her heart is in the right place, but it's a lot to take: the poor listening skills, the constant, BLATANT interrupting and talking over you, the repeating of stories over and over and over again, the cleaning directions and advice (while I'm cleaning), the non-stop chatter about sales and sweepstakes and money. TJ just kinda checks out, either leaves the room or literally doesn't respond to her. And that means it falls to me, the polite daughter-in-law, to listen and respond attentively at all times (there's rarely silence) and make sure she's comfortable. Thankfully, there were no fights this time. Even when she said something about how "all Asian people make their kids take piano lessons," TJ kept his cool. And she didn't badmouth Obama or quote Rush Limbaugh, amazingly. He definitely would've lost his shit then. <br /><br />Her food addiction, as usual, was sad to witness. She talks incessantly about calories and diets and losing weight and wanting to eat healthy food, and none of it means anything. It's to the point that she can't be on her feet for long at all, and she has a terrible cough left over from the walking pneumonia she had last fall and this winter. She and I went to Target one afternoon, and on our way back to the car she told me excitedly that she'd picked out a special treat for us to share in the car before we got home. It was a box of Little Debbie Nutty Bars, I kid you not. Only 100 calories! It broke my heart.<br /><br />Anyway, we're going to Florida in July to visit them (TJ's dad stayed home this time), and I'm pretty optimistic that it'll be a good trip. They will *love* having E there, and he'll have fun in their pool. We can get a direct flight, and they're set up well for babies, and it will be nice not to have to worry about meals and keeping house for a few days. <br /><br />I had other things I wanted to mention, but it's now after 8:00 p.m. and I need to stop. I'll just quickly add that TJ and I went out on a date Saturday night for the first time in months, and a sitter put E down for the first time in, well, ever. That was really the point of our going out--we're working up to the weekend my friend gets married in June. I was a nervous wreck for no reason, of course. He went down just fine. But I hate leaving him. It's to the point that I have a hard time thinking of anything else or enjoying myself. It feels a bit desperate and unhealthy and makes me wonder if I have any identity left apart from who I am with him.Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04973620178769127201noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1544013181908396096.post-30469684411807019302009-04-11T21:32:00.006-05:002009-04-11T21:47:34.673-05:00Recent pics<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjb6OaCdQmVbewNjxK8GSBV81OXvbTuFi-AFs6roLWm2VagzmazCUBZ96P2m-s36Dr4PebNQTgOBjHrvyxK1V1rHGzKl7q1HonGl5C2FbBATIEX9z8pMUatgztBljPOrYBSl8I0hAdVwik/s1600-h/IMG_0927sm.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjb6OaCdQmVbewNjxK8GSBV81OXvbTuFi-AFs6roLWm2VagzmazCUBZ96P2m-s36Dr4PebNQTgOBjHrvyxK1V1rHGzKl7q1HonGl5C2FbBATIEX9z8pMUatgztBljPOrYBSl8I0hAdVwik/s400/IMG_0927sm.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5323628307282697810" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXUKWgHoEd_-35_n4eSu8wivMZc79EzOg41_AKOAYWTVw3EZM0EKio11iiuNXj_AAyeqPod6q_eobtZB0Yl7lXiMzOZPwrUcRr0xh-6TXxe2DuXdGjyqJ-WzaXuKsPkGiAUBim3o5E_UI/s1600-h/IMG_1067sm.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXUKWgHoEd_-35_n4eSu8wivMZc79EzOg41_AKOAYWTVw3EZM0EKio11iiuNXj_AAyeqPod6q_eobtZB0Yl7lXiMzOZPwrUcRr0xh-6TXxe2DuXdGjyqJ-WzaXuKsPkGiAUBim3o5E_UI/s400/IMG_1067sm.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5323628316191763778" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgf8A5k3f3FnoHwvsI4RDtppuCLdcUe_V0kM3tET2nJG6PtChotGRu78hfTaFctlC9dQ1ZAtGA2JNiF9TiMHqmfcYFoUUlRuAwhvRHeYsFtLq7GEMmz36JyLDt3QgiuodkORwgjVbaSUts/s1600-h/IMG_1000sm.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgf8A5k3f3FnoHwvsI4RDtppuCLdcUe_V0kM3tET2nJG6PtChotGRu78hfTaFctlC9dQ1ZAtGA2JNiF9TiMHqmfcYFoUUlRuAwhvRHeYsFtLq7GEMmz36JyLDt3QgiuodkORwgjVbaSUts/s400/IMG_1000sm.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5323628314326829634" /></a><br />Trying in vain to see his belly button. It's impossible when your belly is so round!Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04973620178769127201noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1544013181908396096.post-42738360963523948652009-04-09T17:52:00.006-05:002009-04-09T18:12:06.839-05:00This-n-that on a Thursday that feels like a FridayIt don't think I have much to say at the moment, but TJ took E to the airport to pick up his mom, so I'm alone at home, which NEVER happens. It feels divine and weird. <br /><br />Mary will be here until Tuesday. You may remember some posts about her last summer. (I don't think I'll reference them here. Ahem.) I hope this visit is as enjoyable and non-suffocating as possible. I know E will love having his Grammy here.<br /><br />What else . . .<br /><br />Oh, we found out this week that we don't have maternity coverage. Surprise! More on this later. Shitty, shitty news. <br /><br />I had my 12-week appointment today. I refused the ultrasound/Downs screening that was scheduled, and instead the doctor just listened to the heartbeat externally (it sounded nice and strong--wow). I felt great about not having the ultrasound, as wonderful as it would've been to see the baby. I also talked to the doctor about VBACs. More on this later. <br /><br />Today is our four-year wedding anniversary! We have a sitter coming next Saturday, so we're going to celebrate then. <br /><br />I have been really tired this week, and grateful for the ability to nap part of the time that E naps (he's been napping so well, though only sleeping ten hours a night). I ended up enlisting TJ's help in preparing for Mary's arrival (specifically he mopped downstairs last night). Everything is in good shape now.<br /><br />Oh, gotta go! Am being picked up shortly for dinner.Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04973620178769127201noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1544013181908396096.post-13573726054668997672009-04-04T19:17:00.004-05:002009-04-04T19:50:16.889-05:00Drowning in Oak PollenI have horrible allergies. Horrible. This is the third day of it.<br />Moving sluggishly. So congested. Uck.<br /><br />We got a lot done today, though. Stuff like taxes and vacuuming and cooking and starting to clean out/organize the garage. And there was playing, lots of playing outside with a certain someone. He has allergies too, but there's no keeping him from going outside. <br /><br />About the working-from-home/noise situation, I should clarify that it's not that E and I have to be <i>quiet</I> when we're here--we really don't--we just can't be crazy loud. It doesn't cramp our style most days, I wouldn't say. Just sometimes, usually near the end of the day, though having the sand and water table out back has helped with that. But I vacuum regularly while TJ works, and crank up the radio in the kitchen and so forth. I don't want to make it sound like we have to tiptoe around. As frustrating as it was, Friday's incident was the first of its kind, of that magnitude. We talked about it later, and TJ just doesn't think it's going to happen that often. Still, he'll need to find a place with wireless to work come next fall, if not sooner. And I have to ignore the shrieking (which I normally do) at all costs. <br /><br />Okay, time to go. I'm trying not to get trapped online up here every night after E goes down. I have yet to be successful.Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04973620178769127201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1544013181908396096.post-71753752261809616922009-04-02T13:22:00.004-05:002009-04-02T14:51:17.673-05:00Working from Home: The Noise FactorObviously there are huge, huge benefits to having TJ work at home: the overall pace of our lives (especially when compared to the hellish job he had before), the lack of commute, the help I get in the mornings, the ability for us both to be present for dinner prep/evening playtime. The fact that we're usually done eating dinner by 6:30. The bonus of having my lunch made for me whenever TJ has time. (We never eat lunch together, but he makes my lunch when he can.) And perhaps most importantly, there's the huge benefit of E getting to see TJ during the day, even if it's just to wave hi as we pass his office. <br /><br />TJ doesn't have the type of working-from-home job where you make your own hours and work quietly behind a desk. His is a high-pressure, fast-paced job that's more suited to an office environment in many ways. His schedule is packed with phone meetings and conference calls with clients and colleagues and his partners. He never starts later than 8:00 in the morning, and doesn't take a real break until he stops for the day, which is at 5:00 on average (though he sometimes works at night). Not bad. <br /><br />The issue that seems to be developing has to do with E's noise level, specifically the high-pitched shrieks he's been into lately. There's no way to stop him, nor should we, in my opinion, and the dynamic that's developing around his shrieks is problematic to say the least. For example: Today we'd been out all morning. Upstairs from 8:30 to 9:30, and then out of the house from 9:30 to 12:30. E needed to eat lunch as soon as we got home, and then we'd be going upstairs for naptime. He was in his highchair, waiting for me to quickly get his lunch together, when he started with the EARSPLITTING shrieks. I knew that TJ was just getting on a video conference call, so I was shushing E desperately (knowing that this only makes it worse, but feeling like I had to do something). I was begging him to be quiet, but the shrieks continued, not surprisingly. TJ came barging out of his office with his earpiece on and said, "You've got to do something. Just . . . do something." I said there was nothing I could do. He repeated that I had to, period. I repeated that there was literally nothing I could do, sorry. E had to eat. Back and forth we went, at a stalemate. <br /><br />After lunch, to get E upstairs without a struggle or a peep, I was parceling out sour cream and onion chips (not worth explaining, but obviously they're not something I want him eating at all). Yep, I was buying his silence until we were safely upstairs. <br /><br />Not good. <br /><br />It's frustrating to me, and I know it's frustrating on TJ's end as well. But I don't know what else I can do. I'm already taking him out of the house every single morning of the week, then we're upstairs in the afternoons from 1:00 to 4:00 or so. <br /><br />The last time TJ was out of town (which obviously sucked except in the way I'm about to mention), there were a couple of days where E and I had a dance fest in the kitchen over lunchtime. I cranked up the music and we were dancing and laughing and whirling around like lunatics. It felt so wonderful, and I remember wondering why we'd never done this before. And then I realized--it's because we always, always have to be quiet. <br /><br />There are also times when I'm trying to prepare dinner when TJ's working late, and E's doing what toddlers do in that situation--pulling on my legs and moaning and crying and trying to get my attention. I can't let him do it for long since it's too loud, but if it were just the two of us at home, he would have to wait until I'd reached a stopping point. I worry about what this is teaching him. And what about when the new baby is born? Can you imagine?! <br /><br />We definitely need to figure something out.Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04973620178769127201noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1544013181908396096.post-28894565925201735622009-03-30T19:28:00.004-05:002009-03-30T19:50:56.138-05:00Heading Toward the TwosE's officially eighteen months as of today. A few months ago at his well check, the doctor suggested picking five rules and sticking to them. He said we wouldn't have the energy to consistently enforce more than five. I thought it was good advice, but couldn't come up with the five. We didn't have any rules yet, other than not going in the street. E didn't seem to understand enough to follow rules or deliberately act out. He was still a baby in many ways. But suddenly, we're in new territory. It's happened gradually, really, but this past week seems to have introduced a new era of intentional boundary pushing. We find ourselves enforcing lots of boundaries, over and over and over and over again. Many of the rules involve throwing, which results in the item being taken away: cups, food, blocks, puzzle pieces. Also: no pulling cds from the shelves and throwing them on the floor (this has been the biggie lately, and it's not like we can take the cd towers away). No standing on the couch downstairs (not safe with the wood floor); couches are for sitting. No standing in the high chair. No opening the dishwasher and climbing in (we haven't found a lock that works on ours). No climbing out of the bathtub during bath. I'm sure there are others I'm leaving out. Every time I look away, he's running for the cds, etc. Of course, this is his job right now, and ours is to be consistent. But wow. I can see why the doc advised a limit of five rules. How to keep it to five, though? <br /><br />We've also seen the emergence of tantrums--real tantrums that involve collapsing on the ground and kicking and screaming and rolling around. But they're not as crazy as they could be or will be. There's definitely still room to grow there. But the poor guy, he gets so upset over the tiniest things. Sometimes my heart breaks for him and sometimes I have to turn away so he doesn't see me laughing.Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04973620178769127201noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1544013181908396096.post-37899179254270576632009-03-29T20:01:00.003-05:002009-03-29T20:16:55.400-05:00Quick Post on a Sunday EveningVisited Nana yesterday in Wimberley. She's not doing great: she took a fall several weeks ago and fractured her hip (prescription: rest, ugh), but she's still in so much pain, she thinks she may have broken it. Hopefully she'll find out more this week. I was so glad to see her, and she gave us a wonderful gift while we were there--the first piece of pottery she every bought. It's beautiful.<br /><br />It seems I've turned a corner in terms of feeling crappy. This is the fifth day in a row I've felt better. Ah! It's nice. It seems a little early to be feeling better, even though I know everyone's different, but I've worried a bit--surprise. I felt just crappy enough later today, though, to set my mind at ease (irrational, I know). I expect everything is fine. After all, I'm about to start week twelve (at last!), and my shape has started to change (why do I find that so shocking?). Good things. <br /><br />I don't think I'll blog in much detail about this pregnancy, at least not in terms of physical sensations and changes. I'm keeping a little written journal about that stuff. <br /><br />We interviewed an evening/weekend sitter today and it went well. The plan is to work up to my friend's wedding weekend at the beginning of June. E needs to feel comfortable with the sitter caring for him that weekend, especially since she'll be putting him to bed two (possibly three) nights in a row. Uncharted territory. So we're going to have this sitter come multiple times over the next two months, starting next Sunday. She was highly recommended to us, and has been a nanny for seven years, working with all ages. I can't tell you how relieved I am to have found someone. Also, it will be great for me and TJ, albeit expensive, since we hardly ever go out together.<br /><br />Okay, time for cereal and an early bedtime. I have a longer post percolating, but who knows when I'll have time to write it.Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04973620178769127201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1544013181908396096.post-49286139997128128812009-03-23T19:34:00.004-05:002009-03-23T19:43:11.453-05:00Another Day Down (and it included a three-hour naptime!)After work today, TJ took E to play outside, then made him dinner and fed him (while I got takeout for us), and then insisted on bathing him AND putting him to bed, not to mention picking up the toys downstairs. I was so grateful, especially because today was extra rough in terms of queasiness. I wish I had food cravings that I could indulge, but literally everything repulses me and nothing is satisfying. It's strange to look at macaroni and cheese and want to barf. Time to go read Agatha Christie.Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04973620178769127201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1544013181908396096.post-8704570456899190812009-03-23T14:59:00.006-05:002009-03-31T19:31:02.378-05:00Boobies and a List of WordsE and I are pretty well adjusted now to not breastfeeding, I think, and it feels good. But he's a bit obsessed with my breasts. This had actually started before we weaned. Perhaps it would be more accurate to say that he's into bodies in general. He knows where his penis is and can say penis ("puh-puh"), and likes to play with it. He also likes TJ to pull up his shirt so he can see his hairy belly and touch his nipples. He doesn't say "boobies" when he sees TJ's bare chest, so he must know there's a difference. Several times a day, he pulls my shirt up and demands to see my boobs. (He also tries to pull down my pants!) He smiles lovingly when he sees the boobies, touches them gently, and then lays his head down on my belly or chest. It is so. very. sweet. He doesn't try to nurse, he just touches them and nuzzles me and says something that sounds a little like "boobuh" or sometimes just "boouh." <br /><br />We are cuddling more in the rocking chair, which I love. Sometimes when he wakes up from his nap, he'll sleep on me in the chair for a half hour more, and I get to snuggle him and doze a little. I was cherishing this last week, thinking about how that kind of thing won't be possible as often once we have another baby. Right? Then I was thinking about the new baby and about how different his or her first year will be compared to E's--when I was able to focus on him completely. More on this later, I'm sure.<br /><br />I meant to say before that the preschool issue I mentioned earlier has been resolved, as much as it can be. I'm incredibly relieved, though I still regret that the situation even exists in its current state. But there's nothing I can do about it now. It is what it is, and I have learned from it.<br /><br />I wanted to start a list of the words that E's saying (boring to anyone but me, I'm sure). A few of these words sound precisely the way anyone would say them, but most are approximations, or just sounds that we know represent certain words. The only sound that's completely unrelated to the word it stands for is "dog," which comes out as "koh." But it's not vocalized, it's just a kinda gutteral noise, like a sound effect. Hard to explain. In any case, here are the words he has so far:<br /><br />ball<br />kitty<br />Squeaky (Kiki)<br />dog<br />pig<br />zebra<br />outside<br />bowl <br />spoon <br />cup<br />car<br />door<br />apple<br />banana<br />yo-yo<br />penis <br />boobies<br />baby<br />Mama<br />Daddy, Dat, Dada<br /><br />Of course, he understands a lot more than he can say. When we're reading, if you ask him, he can point out the fish, bird, elephant, camel, monkey, flamingo, barnyard animals, and various items in his book of colors (like the brown gingerbread man).Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04973620178769127201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1544013181908396096.post-87686923610902149372009-03-22T20:29:00.004-05:002009-03-22T21:00:01.087-05:00Non-WeekendI have a blog over at Wordpress that I've been trying to get set up for months. At some point I'll make the switch. I'm thinking I should make it a less personal blog, a way for family and friends (more than the few who know about this one) to check in when they're so inclined. TJ suggested this, since I spend so much time emailing and trying to keep up with people. It's getting harder and harder, and I don't imagine I'll have much time for it at all come next fall. I'm just not sure an impersonal blog is my style. I don't know if I could do it. I already feel limited on here for a few reasons, and my family doesn't even know about this blog. Hmmm. It wouldn't be an outlet the way it is now, but maybe that's okay. In any case, I'm excited about the switch over to Wordpress. <br /><br />This weekend was awash. We had a lot on our list, and none of it got done. TJ was at SXSW all day Friday and got home that night. He knew he was coming down with a cold beforehand, and declared himself officially sick by the time we went to bed. I took care of E most of Saturday and today, feeling super crappy, as usual, myself. TJ did do the bath and bedtime routines. Still, it's amazing to me the way men just stop everything when they're sick. I feel sorry for my poor sickie and have taken care of him and gone grocery shopping and gotten E out of the house so he could rest, but part of me is a *tad* bitter, given that I've felt sick for the past two months. Today TJ said innocently, "Are you ever going to wear your contacts again?" WHAT?!?! Are we on the same planet?!<br /><br />Really, this is not to say that I don't have sympathy for his cold (he was shivering in bed next to me last night and it was sad), or that I don't appreciate all the wonderful things he does. I do! He's amazing. But . . . the gender differences are stunning sometimes. Don't get me started on the cat litter . . .Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04973620178769127201noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1544013181908396096.post-18115728142688538762009-03-22T20:24:00.005-05:002009-03-22T20:29:07.546-05:00I don't know what we'd do without the sand and water table we got recently. Thank God for it. We spend hours outside each day and E always ends up filthy and absolutely soaked. <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOr0Dd5dDgnu4bt7WN1mwQx7qCO5o6wMHAYWj8KohoLV6Am7g4QYVue2ghlNIeE73cWJTzCvgQJrHjUnw7AoB0qrsua9ojvgnmSeEboxybrzSI2sp4LcH-5mEJqKhyphenhyphennqtwnS5YWiKgFs0/s1600-h/IMG_0919sm.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOr0Dd5dDgnu4bt7WN1mwQx7qCO5o6wMHAYWj8KohoLV6Am7g4QYVue2ghlNIeE73cWJTzCvgQJrHjUnw7AoB0qrsua9ojvgnmSeEboxybrzSI2sp4LcH-5mEJqKhyphenhyphennqtwnS5YWiKgFs0/s400/IMG_0919sm.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5316188733958234786" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4sTDTHGNq-YgDCTzTqw_D-sLgMOXD47PeheUyzWcoXeeNjcgDe5UKNX0ZAClSWCkRL0ZDiWOA7c9wQ6PAME65TddiRqAEpTJ_aFOsBZSAa-uDCydRSr-phohWHYYjVz_keNwqbsUKWrc/s1600-h/IMG_0921sm.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4sTDTHGNq-YgDCTzTqw_D-sLgMOXD47PeheUyzWcoXeeNjcgDe5UKNX0ZAClSWCkRL0ZDiWOA7c9wQ6PAME65TddiRqAEpTJ_aFOsBZSAa-uDCydRSr-phohWHYYjVz_keNwqbsUKWrc/s400/IMG_0921sm.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5316188737595722722" /></a>Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04973620178769127201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1544013181908396096.post-14625390506495078352009-03-17T14:47:00.004-05:002009-03-17T19:38:37.132-05:00DraggingI mentioned a couple of posts ago that E's been hard to satisfy lately. Duh, he's teething again. All he's got are canines left until the two-year molars. We've had a nice respite from hardcore teething and had forgotten how completely it transforms him. He's been up the past two nights, and on Motrin, and the drool is spilling from his mouth. When he's awake he's clingy and demanding and quick to scream. It's exhausting. He did great at co-op this morning, though. The mom on duty mentioned how sweet and even-tempered he was, and I was all, "Say what?" <br /><br />This morning he was up at 4:30 and didn't go back down until I forced a brief nap on him at 7:30. TJ was out at a work thing last night, so he was out of commission this morning, and I wasn't amused. I have a UTI right now, and the medication I just started is giving me diarrhea and making me more intensely nauseous than I am anyway. I can't wait to crawl into bed tonight. <br /><br />But can I just say that we got some new shorts for E recently, and they are so cute I can hardly stand it? He's wearing the khaki ones today. I almost fainted from the cuteness earlier.Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04973620178769127201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1544013181908396096.post-53240693539579690092009-03-16T14:30:00.006-05:002009-03-16T20:00:33.786-05:00Weaned, ApparentlySo, we've been nursing twice a day (morning and bedtime) for quite awhile. This week, starting Monday, we dropped the morning feeding, and E didn't seem to care at all. I figured we'd see how things went and then in a month (or two? I wasn't sure) we'd drop the last feeding and be completely weaned. I've found that nursing while pregnant is uncomfortable/painful, which is partly what prompted me to move forward on the whole weaning thing. <br /><br />Then at bedtime on Wednesday, right after we started nursing, E bit me. Hard. I started yelling "ow, ow, ow" at the top of my lungs. I put my finger in his mouth, but it did no good. He was smiling with the nipple pinned between his teeth. He finally released and we sat there for a minute. He was saying "kitty" and was completely unfazed. I could just imagine him doing it again, and I was too terrified to risk it. I decided to see if he'd let me rock him instead. I was sure he wouldn't, but I thought if he had to ask for the boob he'd be less likely to bite when he got it. He's hardly ever bitten me before. <br /><br />Lo and behold, he put his head down and I rocked him like we usually do after nursing. I held him close, and I couldn't believe what was happening, that he was going to bed without nursing, and with no warning. The fact that it followed the biting made it even more upsetting somehow. I started crying, silently, so that hopefully he wouldn't know something was up. When I put him down, he was awake but sleepy, and didn't protest at all. He went down like any other night. I cried and cried, not really knowing why, but sensing that something big had happened. <br /><br />We haven't nursed since then, which at this point I think means we're weaned. I hate that the biting incident was our last time. I wish I'd pushed it on him after that, so that we ended with a good memory. (There was a moment today when we could've nursed, but I felt like it had already been too long.) I kept thinking he would ask for it, and I decided to wait for him to initiate, but he didn't. I even put him to bed myself those first four nights. I have to believe that he was more than ready to wean, and perhaps so was my body: It's been six days on one side and five on the other, and my breasts are as deflated as ever. <br /><br />I've been weepy off and on the past few days, missing the snuggle time with my boy. He's not a big cuddlebug otherwise. We'll find our way, though, I know . . . transitions are just hard. I feel like one of those annoyingly needy mothers right now, whose desperation ends up forcing their children to push them away to keep from being smothered. I can already see glimpses of how that dynamic develops over time. I vow here and now never to become one of those moms. It better not be one of those things that sneaks up on you. I will not do that to my children.<br /><br />I should mention that TJ put E down last night for the first time (with me here, anyway), and it went off without a hitch. It was liberating! So there is something to celebrate in this change. And I have so many beautiful memories of nursing E, I can't even begin to count them. One day soon, I'll be able to think about them without crying.Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04973620178769127201noreply@blogger.com0