So, the verdict is in . . .

And it looks like we're having a GIRL!!!!!!!!!!

Holy shit. Can you believe it? I can't believe it. More soon.

Pregnancy Stuff, Mostly

I am so behind on my emails. I just can't seem to find the time to write very lengthy replies, and I have several in my inbox right now that deserve more than a few quick sentences. In our spare time at home we've been working on cleaning out and organizing the garage (we're at least 80% there), and I've been going through closets and drawers and bookcases little by little, getting ready for the new baby and the rearranging we need to do (turning the guest room/my office into E's new room). I'm also in the midst of touring a couple of preschools (while E's at co-op) and trying to find a new OB. (I've decided to attempt a VBAC. I think.) E's recent developments have also necessitated some additional safety features around the house. Several have been installed, but we really need to secure some of our furniture to the walls. I was looking at the instructions today and it's going to be a bitch. Not sure how the bookshelves downstairs will work since they're Ikea and the backing is particle board.

Pregnancy update: I have an appointment later this week (we start week 17 tomorrow), and the doc said they'll try to make a guess about the baby's gender. I can't wait. I feel absolutely certain it's a boy, and I'm dying to have that confirmed (or to be told I'm wrong--either way will be incredible). I started showing awhile back (feels like I'm pretty big already, for how far along I am), and I think(?) I'm feeling the baby move at times, but only faintly, and I'm still not totally sure. In general I have so, so much more energy than in the first trimester, but there are days I'm wiped out for no apparent reason. The food aversions remain, but the nausea has left completely, which is such a relief. The late night snacking has commenced, and I've started to need a substantial snack (like a pj&j and milk) most nights before bed in order to feel full.

I've thought a lot about how different it is being pregnant this time as compared to last. It feels much easier this time. So far, at least (knock on wood). I've had none of the aches and pains I had last time, and some of them had started by this point. I guess the ligaments and skin and muscle were all broken in pretty well by E. I've had a fraction of the headaches I had before, and my face hasn't broken out (it was out of control with E). I'm also way more physically active this time (not that I exercise or anything. Please). It's easier psychologically as well. About this point last time, I was obsessed with where the top of my uterus was--I was sure it was too low. Now I know that I can't feel the top of my uterus yet. I still get plenty anxious about stuff, just not so much about pregnancy symptoms. And now that the first trimester is over, I'm in no hurry. Whereas it seemed to take forever for E to arrive, I feel like this baby will be here in the blink of an eye. Before, I put everything off until the last trimester, feeling like I shouldn't do things too early. I had no idea how exhausted and physically limited I would be by then. Now I know that I need to get things done in the next couple of months.

Blahblahblah, this seems boring and self-involved (though isn't blogging exactly that). Maybe I should be putting it in the written journal I'm keeping about this pregnancy. But in any case, I'm out of time tonight. Guess I'll have to blog about our weekend later. E got to visit a petting zoo!

Quick Post on a Sunday Evening

Visited Nana yesterday in Wimberley. She's not doing great: she took a fall several weeks ago and fractured her hip (prescription: rest, ugh), but she's still in so much pain, she thinks she may have broken it. Hopefully she'll find out more this week. I was so glad to see her, and she gave us a wonderful gift while we were there--the first piece of pottery she every bought. It's beautiful.

It seems I've turned a corner in terms of feeling crappy. This is the fifth day in a row I've felt better. Ah! It's nice. It seems a little early to be feeling better, even though I know everyone's different, but I've worried a bit--surprise. I felt just crappy enough later today, though, to set my mind at ease (irrational, I know). I expect everything is fine. After all, I'm about to start week twelve (at last!), and my shape has started to change (why do I find that so shocking?). Good things.

I don't think I'll blog in much detail about this pregnancy, at least not in terms of physical sensations and changes. I'm keeping a little written journal about that stuff.

We interviewed an evening/weekend sitter today and it went well. The plan is to work up to my friend's wedding weekend at the beginning of June. E needs to feel comfortable with the sitter caring for him that weekend, especially since she'll be putting him to bed two (possibly three) nights in a row. Uncharted territory. So we're going to have this sitter come multiple times over the next two months, starting next Sunday. She was highly recommended to us, and has been a nanny for seven years, working with all ages. I can't tell you how relieved I am to have found someone. Also, it will be great for me and TJ, albeit expensive, since we hardly ever go out together.

Okay, time for cereal and an early bedtime. I have a longer post percolating, but who knows when I'll have time to write it.

Another Day Down (and it included a three-hour naptime!)

After work today, TJ took E to play outside, then made him dinner and fed him (while I got takeout for us), and then insisted on bathing him AND putting him to bed, not to mention picking up the toys downstairs. I was so grateful, especially because today was extra rough in terms of queasiness. I wish I had food cravings that I could indulge, but literally everything repulses me and nothing is satisfying. It's strange to look at macaroni and cheese and want to barf. Time to go read Agatha Christie.

Boobies and a List of Words

E and I are pretty well adjusted now to not breastfeeding, I think, and it feels good. But he's a bit obsessed with my breasts. This had actually started before we weaned. Perhaps it would be more accurate to say that he's into bodies in general. He knows where his penis is and can say penis ("puh-puh"), and likes to play with it. He also likes TJ to pull up his shirt so he can see his hairy belly and touch his nipples. He doesn't say "boobies" when he sees TJ's bare chest, so he must know there's a difference. Several times a day, he pulls my shirt up and demands to see my boobs. (He also tries to pull down my pants!) He smiles lovingly when he sees the boobies, touches them gently, and then lays his head down on my belly or chest. It is so. very. sweet. He doesn't try to nurse, he just touches them and nuzzles me and says something that sounds a little like "boobuh" or sometimes just "boouh."

We are cuddling more in the rocking chair, which I love. Sometimes when he wakes up from his nap, he'll sleep on me in the chair for a half hour more, and I get to snuggle him and doze a little. I was cherishing this last week, thinking about how that kind of thing won't be possible as often once we have another baby. Right? Then I was thinking about the new baby and about how different his or her first year will be compared to E's--when I was able to focus on him completely. More on this later, I'm sure.

I meant to say before that the preschool issue I mentioned earlier has been resolved, as much as it can be. I'm incredibly relieved, though I still regret that the situation even exists in its current state. But there's nothing I can do about it now. It is what it is, and I have learned from it.

I wanted to start a list of the words that E's saying (boring to anyone but me, I'm sure). A few of these words sound precisely the way anyone would say them, but most are approximations, or just sounds that we know represent certain words. The only sound that's completely unrelated to the word it stands for is "dog," which comes out as "koh." But it's not vocalized, it's just a kinda gutteral noise, like a sound effect. Hard to explain. In any case, here are the words he has so far:

ball
kitty
Squeaky (Kiki)
dog
pig
zebra
outside
bowl
spoon
cup
car
door
apple
banana
yo-yo
penis
boobies
baby
Mama
Daddy, Dat, Dada

Of course, he understands a lot more than he can say. When we're reading, if you ask him, he can point out the fish, bird, elephant, camel, monkey, flamingo, barnyard animals, and various items in his book of colors (like the brown gingerbread man).