For the first time ever, E called me by name from his room this morning after he woke up and had played awhile. It was awesome. I've actually been looking forward to this for about a year for some reason.
Cool.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Climbing and Hitting and Growing Up
TJ's away again, this time in New York. But just for two days. E really misses his dad and asks about him all the time. "Dad-dy? Dad-dy? Dad-dy?" It's so, so sweet. He's really into Daddy these days.
So, he climbed onto a kitchen chair (and then practically onto the table) tonight for the first time ever. There's no going back now, this much is clear.
He's obsessed with playing in the sweltering parked car these days, and as a result we were both super hot and sweaty tonight, and I decided to just take a bath with him before having dinner. It was so refreshing to mix up the routine. I took a bath with him last week for the first time since he was a tiny baby and he was totally ambivalent about it (I was imagining him loving it for some reason), but this time he knew the drill and there was less of a feeling of "Dude, you're taking up my space to play," and more of a "You do your thing and I'll do mine." There was a little curiosity about my body, but almost not as much as when I'm just changing clothes or going to the bathroom with him near me.
Speaking of curiosity, he's started hitting me sometimes when I'm holding him and he's annoyed/angry/frustrated. Yikes, major change. He's also less gentle with my breasts all of sudden. Ever since he was weaned he asks to see the boobies several times a day, and he touches them ever so gently and lays his head lovingly on my belly or chest. But in the past couple of days when he's asked to see boobies, he hasn't been gentle at all. Booby time may be drawing to a close.
I was watching him building with some blocks earlier when he didn't know I was watching, and I was just so aware of the fact that he's not a baby anymore. He has his own opinions and desires, and they're separate and often in conflict with what I'm trying to direct him to do. It's such a difference from the baby who you kiss without being pushed away, and who's content to be toted along with you wherever you go. But there's also something beautiful about seeing this little independent person emerge out of the baby you cared for so completely (and still care for completely). It brings up this strange mixture of pride and wonder and sadness and excitement.
So, he climbed onto a kitchen chair (and then practically onto the table) tonight for the first time ever. There's no going back now, this much is clear.
He's obsessed with playing in the sweltering parked car these days, and as a result we were both super hot and sweaty tonight, and I decided to just take a bath with him before having dinner. It was so refreshing to mix up the routine. I took a bath with him last week for the first time since he was a tiny baby and he was totally ambivalent about it (I was imagining him loving it for some reason), but this time he knew the drill and there was less of a feeling of "Dude, you're taking up my space to play," and more of a "You do your thing and I'll do mine." There was a little curiosity about my body, but almost not as much as when I'm just changing clothes or going to the bathroom with him near me.
Speaking of curiosity, he's started hitting me sometimes when I'm holding him and he's annoyed/angry/frustrated. Yikes, major change. He's also less gentle with my breasts all of sudden. Ever since he was weaned he asks to see the boobies several times a day, and he touches them ever so gently and lays his head lovingly on my belly or chest. But in the past couple of days when he's asked to see boobies, he hasn't been gentle at all. Booby time may be drawing to a close.
I was watching him building with some blocks earlier when he didn't know I was watching, and I was just so aware of the fact that he's not a baby anymore. He has his own opinions and desires, and they're separate and often in conflict with what I'm trying to direct him to do. It's such a difference from the baby who you kiss without being pushed away, and who's content to be toted along with you wherever you go. But there's also something beautiful about seeing this little independent person emerge out of the baby you cared for so completely (and still care for completely). It brings up this strange mixture of pride and wonder and sadness and excitement.
Monday, May 4, 2009
Weekend Recap
We had such a good weekend. It was a nice balance of social activities and productivity, both of which can be a challenge for us sometimes. We actually could've used some more down time, but whatev. It's better than too much down time, which is usually what happens (and what I always think I want, but I'm realizing that's a mistake).
Anyway, on Saturday we went to the Palmer Events Center for the annual Celebration of Families, sponsored by the fabulous F.amily Connections. It was so much fun. We ran into quite a few people we know, and we saw the Biscuit Brothers up close and personal (I couldn't believe it; yes, I was starstruck--ridiculous), and then later we caught some of their show before we had to leave. They were fantastic. E also had fun playing with a giant balloon, watching a clown and Clifford the Big Red Dog (he was terrified of Clifford, actually), and outside they had a petting zoo that blew his mind. He was walking around with ducks and sheep and rabbits--none of which he's ever seen in real life before. I couldn't STAND that I forgot the camera.
Afterward we had lunch at Katz's Deli, complete with fried pickles. We were closing in on E's naptime, but for once we weren't slaves to our schedule.
Saturday evening I worked at the auction for baby Ike down south at Ruta Maya (www.ikeasaurus.com). It was amazing, and it raised over $17,000 for the Roy family. I love the Austin Mamas.
On Sunday after church we went over to our friends' house for brunch. We hadn't gotten together in a loooong time (like almost a year). Sadly, E was deathly afraid of their sweet puppy Lulu, and Lulu had to go in her crate. I don't know if I've ever seen E that afraid. He was making the sad face and everything. In the meantime, he was fine at the park this morning with a much bigger dog (but he sees this dog fairly often, and the dog is very calm . . . ?).
Anyway, on Saturday we went to the Palmer Events Center for the annual Celebration of Families, sponsored by the fabulous F.amily Connections. It was so much fun. We ran into quite a few people we know, and we saw the Biscuit Brothers up close and personal (I couldn't believe it; yes, I was starstruck--ridiculous), and then later we caught some of their show before we had to leave. They were fantastic. E also had fun playing with a giant balloon, watching a clown and Clifford the Big Red Dog (he was terrified of Clifford, actually), and outside they had a petting zoo that blew his mind. He was walking around with ducks and sheep and rabbits--none of which he's ever seen in real life before. I couldn't STAND that I forgot the camera.
Afterward we had lunch at Katz's Deli, complete with fried pickles. We were closing in on E's naptime, but for once we weren't slaves to our schedule.
Saturday evening I worked at the auction for baby Ike down south at Ruta Maya (www.ikeasaurus.com). It was amazing, and it raised over $17,000 for the Roy family. I love the Austin Mamas.
On Sunday after church we went over to our friends' house for brunch. We hadn't gotten together in a loooong time (like almost a year). Sadly, E was deathly afraid of their sweet puppy Lulu, and Lulu had to go in her crate. I don't know if I've ever seen E that afraid. He was making the sad face and everything. In the meantime, he was fine at the park this morning with a much bigger dog (but he sees this dog fairly often, and the dog is very calm . . . ?).
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Pregnancy Stuff, Mostly
I am so behind on my emails. I just can't seem to find the time to write very lengthy replies, and I have several in my inbox right now that deserve more than a few quick sentences. In our spare time at home we've been working on cleaning out and organizing the garage (we're at least 80% there), and I've been going through closets and drawers and bookcases little by little, getting ready for the new baby and the rearranging we need to do (turning the guest room/my office into E's new room). I'm also in the midst of touring a couple of preschools (while E's at co-op) and trying to find a new OB. (I've decided to attempt a VBAC. I think.) E's recent developments have also necessitated some additional safety features around the house. Several have been installed, but we really need to secure some of our furniture to the walls. I was looking at the instructions today and it's going to be a bitch. Not sure how the bookshelves downstairs will work since they're Ikea and the backing is particle board.
Pregnancy update: I have an appointment later this week (we start week 17 tomorrow), and the doc said they'll try to make a guess about the baby's gender. I can't wait. I feel absolutely certain it's a boy, and I'm dying to have that confirmed (or to be told I'm wrong--either way will be incredible). I started showing awhile back (feels like I'm pretty big already, for how far along I am), and I think(?) I'm feeling the baby move at times, but only faintly, and I'm still not totally sure. In general I have so, so much more energy than in the first trimester, but there are days I'm wiped out for no apparent reason. The food aversions remain, but the nausea has left completely, which is such a relief. The late night snacking has commenced, and I've started to need a substantial snack (like a pj&j and milk) most nights before bed in order to feel full.
I've thought a lot about how different it is being pregnant this time as compared to last. It feels much easier this time. So far, at least (knock on wood). I've had none of the aches and pains I had last time, and some of them had started by this point. I guess the ligaments and skin and muscle were all broken in pretty well by E. I've had a fraction of the headaches I had before, and my face hasn't broken out (it was out of control with E). I'm also way more physically active this time (not that I exercise or anything. Please). It's easier psychologically as well. About this point last time, I was obsessed with where the top of my uterus was--I was sure it was too low. Now I know that I can't feel the top of my uterus yet. I still get plenty anxious about stuff, just not so much about pregnancy symptoms. And now that the first trimester is over, I'm in no hurry. Whereas it seemed to take forever for E to arrive, I feel like this baby will be here in the blink of an eye. Before, I put everything off until the last trimester, feeling like I shouldn't do things too early. I had no idea how exhausted and physically limited I would be by then. Now I know that I need to get things done in the next couple of months.
Blahblahblah, this seems boring and self-involved (though isn't blogging exactly that). Maybe I should be putting it in the written journal I'm keeping about this pregnancy. But in any case, I'm out of time tonight. Guess I'll have to blog about our weekend later. E got to visit a petting zoo!
Pregnancy update: I have an appointment later this week (we start week 17 tomorrow), and the doc said they'll try to make a guess about the baby's gender. I can't wait. I feel absolutely certain it's a boy, and I'm dying to have that confirmed (or to be told I'm wrong--either way will be incredible). I started showing awhile back (feels like I'm pretty big already, for how far along I am), and I think(?) I'm feeling the baby move at times, but only faintly, and I'm still not totally sure. In general I have so, so much more energy than in the first trimester, but there are days I'm wiped out for no apparent reason. The food aversions remain, but the nausea has left completely, which is such a relief. The late night snacking has commenced, and I've started to need a substantial snack (like a pj&j and milk) most nights before bed in order to feel full.
I've thought a lot about how different it is being pregnant this time as compared to last. It feels much easier this time. So far, at least (knock on wood). I've had none of the aches and pains I had last time, and some of them had started by this point. I guess the ligaments and skin and muscle were all broken in pretty well by E. I've had a fraction of the headaches I had before, and my face hasn't broken out (it was out of control with E). I'm also way more physically active this time (not that I exercise or anything. Please). It's easier psychologically as well. About this point last time, I was obsessed with where the top of my uterus was--I was sure it was too low. Now I know that I can't feel the top of my uterus yet. I still get plenty anxious about stuff, just not so much about pregnancy symptoms. And now that the first trimester is over, I'm in no hurry. Whereas it seemed to take forever for E to arrive, I feel like this baby will be here in the blink of an eye. Before, I put everything off until the last trimester, feeling like I shouldn't do things too early. I had no idea how exhausted and physically limited I would be by then. Now I know that I need to get things done in the next couple of months.
Blahblahblah, this seems boring and self-involved (though isn't blogging exactly that). Maybe I should be putting it in the written journal I'm keeping about this pregnancy. But in any case, I'm out of time tonight. Guess I'll have to blog about our weekend later. E got to visit a petting zoo!
Friday, May 1, 2009
Friday at the tail end of a long naptime
Wow, I'm having a hard time getting anything done. I mean, anything but menial chores. Part of it probably has to do with being pregnant, but mostly I think it has to do with having a very active toddler. When I'm not interacting with him or out with him somewhere, I spend most of my time cleaning and picking up the house, washing clothes and dishes. Order is important to me, and yet I often feel like I have nothing to show for my efforts. I get to enjoy a tidy room or a clean kitchen for a fraction of a second before it's all undone and the cycle starts again. Over and over. I feel like a hamster in a wheel, running and running but not getting anywhere. I'm sure this is the lament of many a mom. You'll have to cut me some slack, because TJ was out of town all week and I'm pretty burned out.
I took E for his 18-month well check yesterday (a month late). He got the dreaded MMR shot, which I've been fearing and avoiding for a year. I would've waited until his two-year checkup, but that's right around when the baby is due, so I decided to go ahead and do it now. And you know what? It was no big deal. I mean, he cried (he got two shots), but he was fine shortly afterward, and he was his usual energetic, happy self the rest of the day. We went to play at the Central Market playscape afterward and he had a freaking blast. He has taken monster naps yesterday and today, and this morning he was very difficult to deal with, but that seems to be more from his bottom canines. So, whew, glad the MMR is over.
By the way, he weighed in at 27 pounds, 11 ounces (75th percentile) and he's 32.5 inches tall (60th percentile). His head circumference is in the 90th percentile.
One thing that jumped out at me from the info sheet they gave us about this age: Don't expect them to share yet. Case in point: E's friend Jonas came over yesterday afternoon and there were many tears shed over the miniature Dirt Devil vacuum cleaner we have. Learning to share is hard.
Last Saturday I drove up to Ft. Worth to help throw a bachelorette party for a high school friend. Several of the girls were staying out all night with the bride, but I rode up and back with a friend of mine who's also pregnant (just two weeks apart!) and mama to a toddler. Partying all night and being away from our families the whole weekend wasn't something we felt comfortable with, so we drove up that morning and then back after a late dinner. I got home at 3 a.m. Groan. TJ left that day (though not until the afternoon).
I have to say that the best part of the day on Saturday was talking to my friend in the car. We talked for a total of around seven hours at least. Non-stop. And I felt like we could've talked longer. It was such a treat. No interruptions, no one else to take care of, and endless subjects to talk about. I love this friend, and I wish we got to see each other more often.
Well, E's up now. More soon, hopefully.
I took E for his 18-month well check yesterday (a month late). He got the dreaded MMR shot, which I've been fearing and avoiding for a year. I would've waited until his two-year checkup, but that's right around when the baby is due, so I decided to go ahead and do it now. And you know what? It was no big deal. I mean, he cried (he got two shots), but he was fine shortly afterward, and he was his usual energetic, happy self the rest of the day. We went to play at the Central Market playscape afterward and he had a freaking blast. He has taken monster naps yesterday and today, and this morning he was very difficult to deal with, but that seems to be more from his bottom canines. So, whew, glad the MMR is over.
By the way, he weighed in at 27 pounds, 11 ounces (75th percentile) and he's 32.5 inches tall (60th percentile). His head circumference is in the 90th percentile.
One thing that jumped out at me from the info sheet they gave us about this age: Don't expect them to share yet. Case in point: E's friend Jonas came over yesterday afternoon and there were many tears shed over the miniature Dirt Devil vacuum cleaner we have. Learning to share is hard.
Last Saturday I drove up to Ft. Worth to help throw a bachelorette party for a high school friend. Several of the girls were staying out all night with the bride, but I rode up and back with a friend of mine who's also pregnant (just two weeks apart!) and mama to a toddler. Partying all night and being away from our families the whole weekend wasn't something we felt comfortable with, so we drove up that morning and then back after a late dinner. I got home at 3 a.m. Groan. TJ left that day (though not until the afternoon).
I have to say that the best part of the day on Saturday was talking to my friend in the car. We talked for a total of around seven hours at least. Non-stop. And I felt like we could've talked longer. It was such a treat. No interruptions, no one else to take care of, and endless subjects to talk about. I love this friend, and I wish we got to see each other more often.
Well, E's up now. More soon, hopefully.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Mary's Visit, Leaving E
There are all kinds of things I've been meaning to blog about, but I just don't have it in me at the moment. (Plus it's 3:30--E will surely be waking up soon. He's been napping for 2.5 hours!)
We survived Mary's visit, though I did flee to the bathroom once to cry and freak out for a couple minutes. Mary sounds exactly like Mrs. Costanza on Seinfeld, and I've decided that something about the way her voice sounds makes it hard to get outright angry at her. She comes across as sweet and sincere even while being offensive and grating. I believe her heart is in the right place, but it's a lot to take: the poor listening skills, the constant, BLATANT interrupting and talking over you, the repeating of stories over and over and over again, the cleaning directions and advice (while I'm cleaning), the non-stop chatter about sales and sweepstakes and money. TJ just kinda checks out, either leaves the room or literally doesn't respond to her. And that means it falls to me, the polite daughter-in-law, to listen and respond attentively at all times (there's rarely silence) and make sure she's comfortable. Thankfully, there were no fights this time. Even when she said something about how "all Asian people make their kids take piano lessons," TJ kept his cool. And she didn't badmouth Obama or quote Rush Limbaugh, amazingly. He definitely would've lost his shit then.
Her food addiction, as usual, was sad to witness. She talks incessantly about calories and diets and losing weight and wanting to eat healthy food, and none of it means anything. It's to the point that she can't be on her feet for long at all, and she has a terrible cough left over from the walking pneumonia she had last fall and this winter. She and I went to Target one afternoon, and on our way back to the car she told me excitedly that she'd picked out a special treat for us to share in the car before we got home. It was a box of Little Debbie Nutty Bars, I kid you not. Only 100 calories! It broke my heart.
Anyway, we're going to Florida in July to visit them (TJ's dad stayed home this time), and I'm pretty optimistic that it'll be a good trip. They will *love* having E there, and he'll have fun in their pool. We can get a direct flight, and they're set up well for babies, and it will be nice not to have to worry about meals and keeping house for a few days.
I had other things I wanted to mention, but it's now after 8:00 p.m. and I need to stop. I'll just quickly add that TJ and I went out on a date Saturday night for the first time in months, and a sitter put E down for the first time in, well, ever. That was really the point of our going out--we're working up to the weekend my friend gets married in June. I was a nervous wreck for no reason, of course. He went down just fine. But I hate leaving him. It's to the point that I have a hard time thinking of anything else or enjoying myself. It feels a bit desperate and unhealthy and makes me wonder if I have any identity left apart from who I am with him.
We survived Mary's visit, though I did flee to the bathroom once to cry and freak out for a couple minutes. Mary sounds exactly like Mrs. Costanza on Seinfeld, and I've decided that something about the way her voice sounds makes it hard to get outright angry at her. She comes across as sweet and sincere even while being offensive and grating. I believe her heart is in the right place, but it's a lot to take: the poor listening skills, the constant, BLATANT interrupting and talking over you, the repeating of stories over and over and over again, the cleaning directions and advice (while I'm cleaning), the non-stop chatter about sales and sweepstakes and money. TJ just kinda checks out, either leaves the room or literally doesn't respond to her. And that means it falls to me, the polite daughter-in-law, to listen and respond attentively at all times (there's rarely silence) and make sure she's comfortable. Thankfully, there were no fights this time. Even when she said something about how "all Asian people make their kids take piano lessons," TJ kept his cool. And she didn't badmouth Obama or quote Rush Limbaugh, amazingly. He definitely would've lost his shit then.
Her food addiction, as usual, was sad to witness. She talks incessantly about calories and diets and losing weight and wanting to eat healthy food, and none of it means anything. It's to the point that she can't be on her feet for long at all, and she has a terrible cough left over from the walking pneumonia she had last fall and this winter. She and I went to Target one afternoon, and on our way back to the car she told me excitedly that she'd picked out a special treat for us to share in the car before we got home. It was a box of Little Debbie Nutty Bars, I kid you not. Only 100 calories! It broke my heart.
Anyway, we're going to Florida in July to visit them (TJ's dad stayed home this time), and I'm pretty optimistic that it'll be a good trip. They will *love* having E there, and he'll have fun in their pool. We can get a direct flight, and they're set up well for babies, and it will be nice not to have to worry about meals and keeping house for a few days.
I had other things I wanted to mention, but it's now after 8:00 p.m. and I need to stop. I'll just quickly add that TJ and I went out on a date Saturday night for the first time in months, and a sitter put E down for the first time in, well, ever. That was really the point of our going out--we're working up to the weekend my friend gets married in June. I was a nervous wreck for no reason, of course. He went down just fine. But I hate leaving him. It's to the point that I have a hard time thinking of anything else or enjoying myself. It feels a bit desperate and unhealthy and makes me wonder if I have any identity left apart from who I am with him.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
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