Started this earlier in the week . . .
Tuesday was a good day. E did well at co-op, and I spent an hour shopping at Book People and Whole Foods while he was there (and still got back a half hour early in case he was getting tired). That hour of shopping did wonders for me. I can't recall the last time I felt so light and inner focused, yet connected to the larger world, just wandering around, looking at books, picking out a new desk calendar, looking for a birthday gift for someone. Then at Whole Foods, I found a waxing kit. Up until now, I've driven to a salon all the way in South Austin to get a bikini wax every, oh, two months or more. When E was little I just took him with me, but then he became too mobile, and since then it's turned into this big hairy deal (groan, the pun; totally not intended), whereby I have to go on a Saturday and have TJ look after E, etc. And it costs close to $40 with tip. I haven't been in months (oh dear), and it's an important ritual for me. It gives me a boost of confidence and leaves me feeling human and kept up. I wish I could just shave, but that doesn't work for me--my skin doesn't handle it well. Anyway. I bought a waxing kit for $11.99, and it worked beautifully. It was positively liberating to take control over this matter of personal hygiene, to no longer have to rearrange my schedule and shell out a chunk of money to have someone else do this intimate and unpleasant task. Now I can do it myself, at home, anytime I need to.
Later Tuesday evening, after I put E down, I went to the outlets to return some shoes I'd gotten him that he refused to walk in, and while I was there it occurred to me that I should buy some new bras. I've mostly still been wearing my yellowed, ratty nursing bras. They're C cups (or B? I can't remember), and my now shrunken breasts swim in the soft fabric cups. It looks gross, and I'm not getting any support. My old bras are mostly padded, and they appear to be too large now as well--I'm smaller than I was before I got pregnant. I wonder if this is common? I discovered Tuesday night that I'm not even an A anymore, which surprised me. When I stare at myself in the mirror, I don't even recognize my chest. My breasts look sad and used up, to be frank. That said, I'm trying to embrace their new smallness. With the help of a kind salesperson, I found three bras, all on sale, very plain (not much to choose from), but they have a wonderfully close fit and it felt good to take care of myself in this way. I highly recommend it--not always neglecting yourself. Even if you're tired and you don't feel like going out at night (which is how I always feel), just do it every now and then. Now that I've done it once, I plan to do it again . . . after I neglect something else for a few months, of course.