Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Climbing and Hitting and Growing Up

TJ's away again, this time in New York. But just for two days. E really misses his dad and asks about him all the time. "Dad-dy? Dad-dy? Dad-dy?" It's so, so sweet. He's really into Daddy these days.

So, he climbed onto a kitchen chair (and then practically onto the table) tonight for the first time ever. There's no going back now, this much is clear.

He's obsessed with playing in the sweltering parked car these days, and as a result we were both super hot and sweaty tonight, and I decided to just take a bath with him before having dinner. It was so refreshing to mix up the routine. I took a bath with him last week for the first time since he was a tiny baby and he was totally ambivalent about it (I was imagining him loving it for some reason), but this time he knew the drill and there was less of a feeling of "Dude, you're taking up my space to play," and more of a "You do your thing and I'll do mine." There was a little curiosity about my body, but almost not as much as when I'm just changing clothes or going to the bathroom with him near me.

Speaking of curiosity, he's started hitting me sometimes when I'm holding him and he's annoyed/angry/frustrated. Yikes, major change. He's also less gentle with my breasts all of sudden. Ever since he was weaned he asks to see the boobies several times a day, and he touches them ever so gently and lays his head lovingly on my belly or chest. But in the past couple of days when he's asked to see boobies, he hasn't been gentle at all. Booby time may be drawing to a close.

I was watching him building with some blocks earlier when he didn't know I was watching, and I was just so aware of the fact that he's not a baby anymore. He has his own opinions and desires, and they're separate and often in conflict with what I'm trying to direct him to do. It's such a difference from the baby who you kiss without being pushed away, and who's content to be toted along with you wherever you go. But there's also something beautiful about seeing this little independent person emerge out of the baby you cared for so completely (and still care for completely). It brings up this strange mixture of pride and wonder and sadness and excitement.


Brianna said...

Ja, seriously boys, what is with wanting to play in parked cars? Ben does this, too, now. Whenever we get home he just wants to sit in his carseat and play with the buckles or whatever toy he had with him in the car for a while before coming inside.

Heather said...

It drives me insane, I have to say.