Saturday, April 19, 2008

An Evening on My Own

I went out last night by myself. Catherine and Shannon (my best friends from college who live here now and are a couple) had me over for dinner and visiting, and it was wonderful. It felt like old times. They pointed out that this was the first time they'd seen me without Eamon since he was born. I have to say it felt incredibly weird and unnatural saying good-bye to E and getting in the car and driving away while he was still awake. It's hard to leave him, even when I'm burned out beyond belief. TJ called me after he was asleep to tell me how it had gone. I was eager to find out whether he'd taken the bottle, because he hasn't had one since, I dunno, January, I think. Sure enough, he was having none of it. He sucked a little, but then got angry and refused anymore. Luckily, he'd eaten a good amount of solid food an hour earlier, and he fell asleep easily at 6:00 (having napped a total of an hour all day). I got home around 10:00 and pumped immediately, then had to pump again at 2:30. E woke up at 3:30 and I felt terrible that I didn't have more milk for him, but it didn't seem to matter--he fell back asleep until 7:00.

Catherine and Shannon and I made plans for me to come over for dinner the third Thursday of every month from now on. It feels great to have a standing night out to look forward to. I think it's probably good for E and TJ as well. TJ had never done the whole nighttime routine by himself before.

Tomorrow night C & S are coming over to babysit E so that TJ and I can go out to dinner, ostensibly to celebrate our anniversary. I feel like this is the first "official" time we've left E with anyone. It's been a long time since we went out alone, and he was much smaller and less aware the previous times. He also didn't really have a routine or schedule then, and he was used to taking a bottle. So this feels significant. I have to admit I'm a little nervous! I hope he does okay. I'm happy that he'll have some time alone with his aunties.

Well, once again I've waited till late to post. I've gotta go to bed.

The weather was beautiful today, by the way. Just gorgeous. E and I went to Book People and Whole Foods this afternoon. WF freaked me out. I'm so used to Central Market, I got overwhelmed and ended up leaving without buying anything I'd planned to. I met another mama on the corner of 6th and Lamar, though, and that was nice. She had the same color Ergo carrier, and we struck up a conversation. Her baby was six months old and tiny. She said he's been waking up every two hours and she's worried he's hungry. She had just bought some rice cereal at WF but was nervous to start it because her milk supply has always been low. I suggested she start him on a little right after he nurses (like I know anything). I feel like Eamon is only now eating to eat. For a few weeks he and I were just getting used to the idea. It's a big change, and like everything else, it's hard to know if you're doing it the right way.

Okay, I'm rambling at this point. It was just nice to meet another mom. And now I'm really signing off.

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