This is probably really boring to read about (some would argue that babies are more boring, I'm sure), but since it's new to us and is consuming our daily life at the moment, I feel compelled to write about it. So, the diet. We went out to eat again tonight (we were originally going to be in Dallas visiting my mom this weekend, but it got pushed to next weekend at the last minute, so we had no meal planned for tonight). We've realized there are some restaurants we just can't go to anymore (like Hoover's) except for very, very special occasions; and as for the others, we'll have to order differently. Tonight we went to Fire Bowl. Oh, how I love the Chow Fun Wok Toss there. But oh, how I also love the tofu spring rolls. In the past, I would've ordered both, and a Shiner to boot. Tonight I got the spring rolls and a salad and no beer. The salad was very healthy--not all or even many restaurant salads seem that healthy to me (and I never, ever order one; I mean, except as a side; okay, and not counting Central Market). But this was light and simple. Plain grilled chicken and fresh bell pepper and green onions, mixed greens, and an ever-so-slight Asian citrus dressing. Oh, and peanuts--the fattiest things on there. I was very proud of my self-control in ordering and felt like I deserved a freaking medal for it, but now it's 7:30 and I'm starving. Ugh. The other issue is that it's next to impossible to know how many calories I ate. The food search tool on the calorie counting site we're using pulls up very specific items, like Sonic's chicken salad. Gag, no. I end up choosing the closest thing to what I ordered, but I have no idea if the calories really match. Then I add each ingredient, like peanuts, and guess on things like weight. I guessed I had a half ounce of peanuts, but who the hell really knows. All I know is that supposedly I've only eaten 1880 calories today, which means I have a few hundred to play with tonight, and I'm not wasting them on baklava. I think I'll have some cereal with soy milk. I want to feel full.
I know we shouldn't get bogged down in the details too much. The fact is that we're eating wayyyyyy less and much healthier, much more mindful, which is what's important. I asked TJ if he minded if I blog about his weight and he said no, so for the record, he's starting at 240. His target weight is 190 to 200 pounds, which is appropriate given his large frame and his height of six feet. The calorie counter came up with a weight of 165 for him, which is such bullshit. The only way he should ever weigh that, or could ever weigh that, would be if he had some terrible disease and were dying in front of our eyes. It also seems worth mentioning that everyone in TJ's family is overweight--both his siblings and his parents (who are morbidly so). When we visit his family, everyone comments on how skinny TJ is. In any case, it's a beautiful thing to see him committing to this. He's the driving force behind it. He's even given up sugar in his coffee. It's been over five years now since he had a beer, and over a year since he quietly stopped smoking (a pack and a half a day--and meanwhile I bitched incessantly when I quit smoking my four or five a day three years ago). The man amazes me.
Since I'm revealing his weight, it seems only fair to report that I weigh 117 and am a measly five foot one. My weight's not bad--I could weigh a few pounds less (who wouldn't want that), but I think 110 is too low for me. I've weighed that before, but only with the help of toxic levels of stress and anxiety. My goal is just to eat healthier, support TJ, not gorge myself (sigh), not gain any weight, and it sure would be nice to have a flatter belly. But we'll see. Tomorrow we're going to go shopping for some food that will support our new endeavor, seeing as how this week we've kind of been winging it.